That Wrestling Blog 01/13/2019

6^rth Edition – January 13, 2019

The Dawn of a New Era?

What a big week it has been in wrestling. I’m talking about a week that could go down as one we remember for the rest of our lives, I am talking about a week so big, that it might never be topped. I am of course talking about Miz and Shane McMahon announcing that they will be challenging for the Smackdown Live Tag Team Championships at the Royal Rumble! This is huge, I mean putting Miz in a tag team right now when he could be positioned to win the WWE Championship, makes sense. It also makes sense for Shane McMahon just to have PPV matches at the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania and then leave our screens for the next nine months.
No, look, I am of course talking about All Elite Wrestling having their rally and announcing key signings such as PAC. (Neville to those who only watch WWE and Adrian Neville to those who only watch NXT). Do you remember when they put Neville in fucking cape and dubbed him “The Man that Gravity Forgot?” Geez that was bad, but this new PAC, is basically one of the biggest pricks in wrestling today and his twitter account is amazing. Another major signing was the GOAT himself Chris Jericho. The Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, brings an audience wherever he goes and will be essential to the initial success of AEW.

The big question on every smarks mind, is who will Kenny Omega sign with? Will he be a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble? Or, will he stick with his buddies and go to AEW? Personally, I don’t think he will do either. Personally, I believe he should sign for my new start up promotion called Aussie Bogan Wrestling or ABW for short. Now if you don’t know what a Bogan is, just fucking look it up, but it’s basically an American Red-Neck, English Chav or a Canadian Maple Leaf (take that Canada and your love of Hockey!). Aussie Bogan Wrestling is made of some of the best local talent including The Yabbie, The Backpack Killah, Dick Mundee and of course my personal favourite Russell Bro, who is like an Australian surfer version of Matt Riddle. Basically, the only rule in ABW is that everyone in the match is required to neck (chug) 6 beers before the match begins. After that happens, it’s a free for all! I think Kenny would be a great addition to the roster and has the potential to deliver some drunk Meltzer 5-Star matches.
Onto the WWE now and let us begin with the first RAW of 2019. There are only a couple of things that I will take away from this show. The first thing…… was Dean Ambrose wearing a fucking wallet chain? Now look, I am not 100% up with the latest fashion trends, I mainly wear gym clothes and wrestling t-shirts, but, I am pretty sure the wallet chain look is not back in fashion. I mean, was Dean listening to some AFI and Avril Lavigne during the day and thought, “hey, I don’t really know where my character is going anyway, might as well throw on a chain and see what happens!” To quote an Avril song, Dean, “Why did you have to make things so complicated? Acting like your somebody else, makes me frustrated.” You’re wearing gas masks one-week, big coats the next. You’re the lunatic and then you’re the moral compass, get your shit together man!

The second thing I will take away from RAW, was Nia Jax making that gagging spew noise when she interrupted the wonderfully terrible debut episode of a “Moment with Bliss.” That noise is haunting my dreams, just as haunting as I am sure, the nightmares that other women wrestlers have the night before they have match with her over the fear of being injured by the 300.5 ounce Samoan.

Smackdown was again the better show, and gave us another great women’s main event. I did not expect them to go with “The Man” for the win, but hopefully they are setting her up for a loss at Royal Rumble (screwy finish) to then enter the rumble match and throw every one of those wannabees over the top rope!

I will mention this one negative from Smackdown and I think it’s a pretty big one. As much as I love the Usos and the Bar battling it out in the ring, I couldn’t help but not give two fucks about their match this week. It was a feeling of “here we go again!” as they had their 1000th match together in the last 12 months. What happened to people getting an opportunity? We saw the Good Brothers and Sanity on TV for one week, one week! What is the fresh new team that was given an opportunity for no reason you ask? Well, as I mentioned above, it was the Miz and Shane. Come on guys, a Sanity vs Bar match at the Royal Rumble would have been fantastic. Give them a chance on the big stage and watch them have a barn burner of a match. But no, give one of the most consistent singles stars and a part time old McMahon a title shot instead.

By far the biggest news from Smackdown was the return of the piledriver! Remember those? Well, it was more of a Canadian Destroyer but still, the piledriver is a banned move in the WWE and they used it. Those naughty Mexicans are breaking all the rules, no wonder Trump needs to build a wall. We can’t have Mexican wrestlers jumping over the border and doing illegal WWE moves can we!

Kind Regards,
That Wrestling Guy