That Wrestling Blog – 12/02/2018

1st Edition –December 2nd, 2018

Not another wrestling blog I hear you saying, not another nobody giving his 2 cents on the business, not some nerd in his basement who just finished his 10th masturbation session of the night.
Well look, I may be a chronic masturbator, but maybe I can provide you with some entertainment along the way whilst taking all things wrestling for the week. You see, I am Australian, which for Americans are a rare breed of human that live a million miles away in a tropical paradise, where we all talk like Steve Irwin and live in kangaroo pouches. If you have seen the Simpsons Australian episode, then that’s pretty much how most of the world perceives us.

Well I am here to tell you that unfortunately, we are just as plain as vegemite (look it up) and we pretty much take all our influence from American Television, which includes the greatest American TV show of all time, Professional Wrestling. The thing about living here though, is that instead of Monday Night Raw, it’s Tuesday Lunchtime Raw, because we live in future. That’s right, as you read this now (unless you’re from aus), we are approximately 12 hours in the future and I can tell you, speaking to you from the future, that yes, we are all fucked, and the world is coming to an end.

Anyway, enough about the world ending, let’s talking about the apocalypse that we saw on Monday Night RAW this week. Well actually, it was an apocalypse that we have seen before as it was pretty much a repeat of the last 3 months. I know there was a lot of hate being thrown around online, and rightly so. I know the WWE doesn’t really give a fuck about ratings or the traditional 4 weeks TV build then PPV pay-off model but, surely with their writing team, their resources and the amount of talent in that locker room, surely, SURELY, they could have had someone else other Dolph Ziggler answer the open challenge from Seth Rollins.
Maybe it would have been a good opportunity to give Apollo Crews a chance to shine in a big match on RAW? Rather than these half-arsed (yes we say arse instead of ass) mini-pushes he has been given over the last 2 years. I honestly think if given the time to tell a story, they could have put on a fantastic match. RAW at the moment, is really missing stars like Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens who can give you great matches and keep feuds fresh, hopefully they can get back soon.

I do want to bring up another major point from RAW before I get the Men in Black to come and erase my memory, so I never have to recall anything from it ever again. There is a real problem with Ronda Rousey at the moment, no, it’s not her promos and no, it’s not her in-ring work, it is her fucking eye make-up! I am not sure who is doing make-up for Ronda, but it must stop, she legitimately looked like she had pink eye this week and past weeks haven’t been much better. Her character really doesn’t need eye make-up and as the ‘Baddest Bitch on the Planet”, it just doesn’t suit her.
Yeah that’s right, RAW was that bad that the only real thing I could take out of it was Ronda’s make-up….

Smakdown Live, well, we like to say there is an A show and a B Show but this week it was an A-show and a Z-show because if RAW was Bobby Roode’s robe then Smackdown was the piss from Drake Maverick.
I like to say less is more, quality over quantity and any other clichés you can think of, but Smackdown is just that much better, and one of reasons that it is better is because it is shorter. It’s also the reason why NXT is better than the main roster shows, less is more!

From the very beginning of the show we had the return of ‘The Man’ and instantly it set the tone for the show. A great opening segment with the women that made sense! “Yeah fuck you Paige! You have been giving title shots to your friends and not us!” It’s true, it was logical, it made sense to have a battle royal.
What doesn’t make sense is to keep showing that stupid looking world cup best in the world bullshit trophy, please WWE, it was bad idea, just bury it in the past, no one will remember it, and it will never be talked about again. Every time I see that trophy I get flashbacks that awful Crown Jewel show and begin to curl up into a ball a shake.
My favorite segment by far this week was the Jeff Hardy 20-year presentation. To look back on Jeff’s career and see how many moments he has given us as fans was truly something special and probably something we take for granted. But how do you take a segment and make it 100 times better? Why you add Samoa Joe of course, who I believe has delivered some of the best promos of the year and this one was no different.
The Samoan Submission Machine was brutal in referencing Jeff Hardy’s past alcohol and addiction problems and was something that instantly hooked the WWE Universe (hate that term) and left me wanting more. I have no doubts in my mind that this will be another great feud for Samoa Joe and a good way to close out what has been a fantastic 2018 for the big man, although he didn’t win the title, he has cemented himself as a true top heel in WWE.
Moving on to NXT, well NXT was great as usual, end of story.

So yeah, there’s my opinion on all things WWE this week. If you had fun reading it then thank you, if not, please head over to my Instagram and let me know where I will personally fly you to Australia, so we can settle our differences in a Koala on pole match.

Kind Regards,
Sam Story
aka That Wrestling Guy aka, The Thunder from Down Under, aka The Big Cheese